Archive for the ‘Stuff for Teachers’ Category

I’ve just finished talking on the phone to my friend and colleague. We’ve been exploring the potential of her using Clean Language in her work in school and we’ve decided to meet up to develop a plan for using Clean Language in the Art and Technology curriculum this term. She can see great potential in it. In fact, we’re both very excited and are looking forward to trawling through the curriculum on Monday and integrating a Clean Language approach into the methodology with the aim of achieving the learning objectives effectively, efficiently and with elegance.

The Step-Backwards Before Going-Forwards-For-Good.

Went to visit my sister’s neighbors today – Franz and Marie-Jeanne. They are lovely people who live in a beautiful cottage in rural Ireland with two beautiful dogs (one is the biggest Irish wolfhound I’ve ever come across), 12 cats and two horses – as well as the 26 cats in their well-run cattery.

Franz has been training their two horses to take to the traces so that they will pull a cart.  Marie-Jeanne told us how one of the horses had suddenly developed a problem. He had started to go backwards in his training. Since Wednesday he was refusing to back into the traces.

She continued to describe the problem with concern until my sister said, “Well that’s the step backwards before he goes forwards for good – it’s a good sign that you’re nearly finished.”

It reminded me that we see this all the time with the children in school. They seem to be learning something well and then they encounter difficulties and seem to go backwards just before they become competent.

You’ve probably seen it with babies learning to crawl or walk. First they teeter.Then they start to walk or crawl and it seems as though they’ve cracked it. Then they go through a stumbling phase – it’s as though they’ve lost the skill they had gained . And then suddenly, they’ve mastered the art of walking or crawling competently.

This stumbling phase is often one where children and adults give up – and sadly, it’s just before success comes but that success is still out of sight for them. Once you notice that this is a common pattern with learning, instead of becoming frustrated when things seem to be taking a turn for the worst, you can quietly celebrate, knowing that it is a sign that success close by.

So as I was enjoying the country air and the company of delightful animals and lovely people, I was reminded of an important lesson in learning. How will this help you with your own learning or in supporting your children’s learning confidence?

I’ve been enjoying a holiday staying with my sister over in Ireland. She’s coming to England soon for a family wedding and so we found ourselves reminiscing about family and children during long fire lit evenings in her traditional Irish cottage. We were talking about communication and for some reason I found myself remembering when my daughter was a teenager. We went through a phase when it was difficult to talk. Was she bovered? I don’t think so! (Mostly it was, “talk to my hand because my face isn’t listening!’)

…and then I remembered that the way to create rapport with another is to mirror and match and talk in their preferred style.

Simple!

All I had to do was to match her style.

But what was her style?

When I stopped to think about it, it seemed she didn’t have a style when it came to talking. I rarely saw her talk. She spent most of her time texting friends on her mobile phone.

Then I realised… that was her style!

I thought I’d give it try… so I texted her,

“Hi Jen How ya doin”

I had an instant reply.

Success!

But the surprising thing about it was that, from that moment, we also began to enjoy verbal conversations as well. So I learned that it is always worth stopping to consider ‘what is the other person’s communication style’ in its widest sense if you want to open effective channels of communication.

And it’s worth remembering that, once you’ve made the effort to enter somebody’s world in their own style, then you may find it’s all you need to do to start the communication and connection flowing – you won’t have to keep it up indefinitely. And that’s good to know, because keeping it up indefinitely might prove to be a bit of a struggle.

Talking to a group of  students at The Clean Language Summer School.

They were preparing for their assessments – they had to demonstrate their competence by completing a series of ‘live’ client sessions, observed by assessors. Nothing quite like it for for ‘bringing on the nerves’.

I was reminded of a learning experience I’d had over twenty years before.

In an exercise to music teacher training course, all the students learned physiology, choreography and music editing, class management and cuing (which is surprisingly complex). For homework each week, we had to use all we’d learned to create our own routines and present them to the class the next lesson.

Naturally, at first, we were all shy, nervous and unconfident about our creations and our delivery. As the weeks went by we became more confident about the content of our routines and more confident about our delivery but we continued to be a little self-effacing when we went to the front of the class to present the sessions.

Until one week, when the tutor patiently let us go through our paces – and then proceeded to reflect back to us what we had been doing by giving us a precise imitation of everything we’d done.

We began to laugh at the coy way in which she was presenting – the little apologies she gave out before she started the routines (e.g. “I hope this will be alright – I wasn’t sure about the arm section so I just did my best!”).

We all recognized ourselves in her little display as she went on – and boy did we laugh – until she turned on us and reminded us, in no uncertain terms, that we were there to serve our class members.

Once qualified, we would be delivering our classes to people who had paid a fee and had probably made a great effort to come out on a cold winter’s night to get fit – it was our duty to give them the best.

She reminded us quite forcefully that…

IT WAS NOT ABOUT US.

IT WAS ABOUT THEM!

… and they had the right to expect a professional presentation, not a self-conscious display full of misguided modesty and excuses.

From that moment we all stepped up to the mark and dropped our nerves for the sakes of our clients.

She had driven a home truth well and truly home.

That lesson has served me well over the years.

Step up to the mark and give them your best – It is not about you – it is about them.

And relating the story to the nervous candidates at the Summer School gave a few more students some food for thought – and it helped them reflect on their own approach to ‘exam nerves’.

4.6.09

A parent stomped in with her child one morning. Both of them looked grumpy as usual. The child had her arms crossed across her chest and was doing little stomping actions with her feet as she walked and her face was all puckered up and frowning. Her Mum told me she was being run ragged. “She’s always running around and she never does as she’s told, it’s a nightmare in the mornings!

ALWAYS, NEVER, NIGHTMARE.

So I said to her, “ALWAYS? Has there never been a time that she’s not running around?” … and of course when she thought about it there were times when she was calm and settled.

So I said, “NEVER? Has there never, ever been one time when she does what she’s told?” … and again there were times when she had done what she’d been told.

So I let Mum know the trick of beginning to notice when she gets what she wants and mark it, with a hug or a smile, wink, thumbs-up or a little touch (anything quick and easy and WARM)

As we were speaking her child, who had been hopping around the room until then, sat down and began to look at a book. So I said, “…like this” and went across, smiled and said “It’s lovely to see you sitting still reading a book, are you enjoying it?” She said “yes”, smiled back and settled more deeply into her book (looking a bit chuffed with herself!)

I went back to Mum who was obviously surprised that her child could settle so quickly and easily. I suggested she give it a go. So we watched and waited until her child was very still and absorbed and then

Mum went over and gave her a hug and said the some similar things. Her child settled into the hug and smiled, she read a little excerpt to her Mum, kissed her and waved her good-bye before becoming engrossed in the book again.

This was a turning point for the two of them. Mum was shocked how something so simple can have such a huge effect. She also appreciated that although it was simple, she did have to stay alert to notice those moments and mark them with a little bit of warmth – and disciplined to keep her attention consistently alert to them. But she knew it was worth a little bit of effort for what they gained.

Life at home began to improved for them both and mornings in school became ‘grump’ free. So it’s smiles all round now!