More Parent Talk: Pull Teeth or Clean?
January 3rd, 2010 | 
Author: Let’s take a closer look at how to do a ‘teeth pulling’ conversation and then at a way to connect on a far more satisfying and refreshingly informative level.
How to do a ‘teeth pulling’ conversation
1. Always be the first to start the conversation – YOU do the talking.
2. Always ask closed questions (ones that can be answered with a simple yes or no).
3. Keep on asking… question after question.
4. Ensure there are no silences in the exchange.
5. Get more and more disappointed…or annoyed even!
6. Give up!
How to do a ‘Clean’ conversation
1. Start off by listening… really listening… with all your senses.
2. Acknowledge what has just been said, by repeating it back to the child.
3. Then ask a Clean Question…
Choose from:-
- · …and what kind of…(repeat child’s words)?
- · …and is there anything else/anything else about… (repeat child’s words)?
- · …and where/whereabouts is… (repeat child’s words)?
- · …and what happens/ed just before.. (repeat child’s words)?
- · …and then what happens/ed?
4. Continue listening and being ‘quietly with’ your child during silent pauses, as they are thinking.
5. Enjoy the insights and the sense of connection.
6. Continue to delight in fresh new understandings!
Like most things in life, you have a choice.
You have the power to choose between frustration and fascination.
Choose wisely.
Next time you’re struggling with a ‘teeth pulling’ conversation…Think Clean!
Posted in 5 Responses to “More Parent Talk: Pull Teeth or Clean?”
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Hello there. Appreciate your site. I check it regularly to see the most recent stuff. Very interesting posting.
Hello Ben. I’m glad its interesting for you and thanks for the positive feedback. I’m wondering if you use these ideas at all – and if so in what context? I’d love to know how you get on with it.
Just been on a quality training for quality evaluators,and others want to be this effective.
its could be as difficult as pulling, hens teeth of course making distinctions in complex environments is important.When its working to distinction tnen,quality work results.
And time is limited,asking clean quality questions does improve outcomes.
And what is just beyond that? Will be to utilise the advantage of clean engagement, to develop training modes which integrate.
clean and clever, wins friends.
lol many of the remarks bloggers post really are a bit spacey, every so often i really think whether these people are actually go through the pieces and posts before adding a comment or whether they simply gloss over the post title and write the very first idea that pops inside their mind. either way, it really is helpful to read sensible commentary occasionally in contrast to the identical, old opinion which i frequently notice on the web.
Thanks for the feedback regarding the posters… and I’m curious to know, what do you think of the post?